Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
