I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
