And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
