dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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