Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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