so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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