He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
