I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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