I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize