Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
