Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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