didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
