like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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