I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
