I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
