I can't watch pbs sober anymore
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
