Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
