I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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