:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
