OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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