The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
