You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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