ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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