Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Can you bring me the toilet please
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
