Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
