If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
