Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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