Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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