I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
