We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
