She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Randomize
