I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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