i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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