You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
