He is an equal opportunity slut.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
there is puke in my bra ... again
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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