I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
