No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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