i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
