So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it's like heaven, but drunker
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
