thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
