Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
