i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
