I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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