look no pants
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
