Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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