he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize