I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
