so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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