This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
