doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
