im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
