hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
