I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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