if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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