forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
