The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
