I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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