I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
