all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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