We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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