I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
